Bill Watterson

God put me on this earth to accomplish a certain number of things. Right now I am so far behind that I will never die.

Bill Watterson

I've got to start listening to those quiet, nagging doubts.

Bill Watterson

If people sat outside and looked at the stars each night, I'll bet they'd live a lot differently.

Bill Watterson

If you can't control your peanut butter, you can't expect to control your life.

Bill Watterson

It's not denial. I'm just selective about the reality I accept.

Bill Watterson

Heck, what's a little extortion among friends?

Bill Watterson

A real job is a job you hate.

Bill Watterson

Getting an inch of snow is like winning 10 cents in the lottery.

Bill Watterson

From now on, I'll connect the dots my own way.

Bill Watterson

Genius is never understood in its own time.

Bill Watterson

I liked things better when I didn't understand them.

Bill Watterson

I think we dream so we don't have to be apart so long. If we're in each other's dreams, we can play together all night.

Bill Watterson

I thought my life would seem more interesting with a musical score and a laugh track.

Bill Watterson

I won't eat any cereal that doesn't turn the milk purple.

Bill Watterson

I'm not dumb. I just have a command of thoroughly useless information.

Bill Watterson

It's surprising how hard we'll work when the work is done just for ourselves.

Bill Watterson

If your knees aren't green by the end of the day, you ought to seriously re-examine your life.

Bill Watterson

I find my life is a lot easier the lower I keep everyone's expectations.

Bill Watterson

I know the world isn't fair, but why isn't it ever unfair in my favor?

Bill Watterson

It seems like once people grow up, they have no idea what's cool.

Bill Watterson